In Memory of Quan Chee Kheong

A good and old friend passed away around 5.40am last Wednesday, 19th March, 2008. from apparent heart failure. His name is Quan Chee Kheong.

Quan has been my friend since 1988. A tall, muscular and handsome fella, he enjoyed working out in the gym, golfing, watching soccer, movies and just being with his family and friends. Therefore it caught me by complete surprise when he suffered a massive heart attack in 2003. His health deteriorated from then on and it's painful to see him so weak and frail. His loving wife Susan was by his side and took good care of him continously. This is what real love is all about: sticking by your loved one in sickness and in health.

Quan was a friendly, helpful and caring friend. I remembered him helping me often when I needed someone who can speak Thai. I remembered him visiting Hua Li in ICU and comforting me despite his weak and frail condition. I remembered him standing in silent solitude over my comatose wife, an assuring and towering figure of strength. He has always helped me whenever I asked. Having an affinity for Thai people, and their culture, he has been a good friend to many Thai people who settled down here, my late Hua Li being one of them.

I'm sure his past training as a lay monk in Thailand helped him cope with his heart ailment with such patience and equaminity. Till Susan explained to me the suffering he has been going through after his heart attack, I never knew a heart patient has to go through so much pain and ache. Yet I never hear him complain or lament about his condition despite not being able to do all those activities he love so much in the past.

His passing has brought a timely awakening to me who has been too busy working in my demanding business. Never take our health for granted, never forget our friends and do good whenever we can. Our family, friends and wealth will be left behind when we die, but our legacy and good deeds will follow us to the next life. And I'm sure my good friend, you have moved on to a better place. May the Triple Gem guide and protect you always, wherever you are. Thank you for your friendship and inspiring me to be a better person. You'll always be remembered.

Contentment as an Antidote for Depression

Took an audio CD from Buddhist Maha Vihara last month. Listened to it many times and I was impressed with the whole talk. The talk entitled "Contentment as an Antidote for Depression" was presented by Dr. Pang Cheng Kar, a medical doctor from HKL with clinical experience in psychology and psychiatry. The good Doc articulated the concept of "what we think will determine how we feel".

This is very close to what The Buddha taught as stated in Dhammapada Chapter 1, Verse 1 & 2:
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. Speak or act with an impure mind, and trouble will follow you as the wheel follows the ox that draws the cart... Speak or act with a pure mind, and happiness will follow you as your shadow, unshakable.

Dr. Pang outlined 5 thought patterns that can make us depressed, based on the model by Dr. Aaron Beck, the father of cognitive therapy.

1. Generalization: exaggerate and over-amplified matters.

2. Catastrophic Thinking: projecting the worse of the future.

3. Dichotomous or Dualistic Thinking: think of everything in black and white, either success or failure, good or bad, intelligent or stupid etc. No shades, no in-betweens, no tolerance.

4. Personalization: finding faults constantly, with ourselves or others.

5. Absolute thinking: everything is a must. Extreme craving for certain results or outcomes.

All these 5 thought patterns have something in common: fault finding.

He then introduced some ways to cope or overcome depression by conditioning how we think, namely developing contentment. And this is beautiful: he suggest we keep a Diary or Book of Contentment for ourselves. Cultivate or develop contentment by jotting down all the wonderful things that happened to us. For me, this blog is my own diary of contentment.

There are 3 things we can write down in our Book of Contentment:

1. Be grateful for the things that didn't go wrong. Things we take for granted, for eg. our health, enough food to eat, a proper place to stay, peaceful country etc. Many others are suffering from poor health, lost of limbs or abilities, wars and deprived of basic human needs.

2. Be grateful for things that went right. Rejoice for all the good things that happened to you: a caring & supportive family, spouse, a good education, good career, thriving business and all the fine things you have been enjoying in life. Avoid craving for more by rejoicing in them continously as if they just happened yesterday. Dr. Pang shared how he is still thankful for the scholarship he received years ago.

3. Be grateful for things that went wrong. This is highest level of developing contentment. I guessed all of us are too eager to blame but forget to learn from our mistakes. It is the bitter events in our lives that offer us the opportunities to grow and mature into a wiser, better person. This is what Dr. Pang meant by "transformative suffering", learning from our hardship or our pains. By understanding and accepting the fact that our lives will always have ups and downs, we become more forgiving, tolerant and patient to ourselves and others, and in the process, become a happier person.

I dunno about you, but to me, Contentment equals Happiness.

PS. Clinical depression is different from the low mood or blues we sometimes feel. And do note that complacency, indifference or apathy is NOT contentment.

Gatha for Metta - remembering the Tsunami

Found a touching poem while browsing E-Sangha forum today. This poem was written after the Tsunami struck Indian Ocean on December 26, 2004, killing about 230,000 people, with tens of thousands missing and over one million displaced. What I like most about this poem is the way it encourages loving kindness and compassion; over everything else that judge, label and separate us along cultural, racial or religious lines. Here is the beautiful poem, written by Beth Vieira:

When there is destruction and death,
may all beings be relieved of suffering.

When there is no one to blame,
may all beings be relieved of judgement.

When there is a lost mother and a crying child,
may all beings be relieved of their tears.

When there is utter incomprehension,
may all beings be relieved of confusion.

When there is no way to do anything,
may all beings be relieved of their helplessness.

May the world and all beings be relieved from the suffering
of pain and death, destruction and illness, fear and doubt.

May the world and all beings be free of danger
and find safe harbor in the loving arms of compassion.

May compassion and hope bring together all beings,
holding hands and holding each other in gentle lovingkindness.

So as we celebrate and welcome the new year, please remember that there are some less fortunate people who are suffering and languishing in many poverty stricken slums or war torn places, without any proper meals or a roof over their heads, in pain and diseased. Let us cherish our lives and those around us. Let us show care and concern whenever we can, and make our lives more meaningful. By remembering them, and let this be a catalyst of change for the new us in 2008.

New Year Wishes for 2008

During the year may you have
Enough happiness to keep you sweet.
Enough trials to keep you strong.
Enough hope to keep you happy.
Enough failure to keep you humble.
Enough success to keep you eager.
Enough friends to give you comfort.
Enough wealth to meet your needs.
Enough enthusiasm to make you positive.
Enough determination to make each day better.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008

PS. These new year wishes are not written by me. For my pals or those who are wondering why wish trials and failure to another, my view is that even when we are face with bad things or unfortunate events, there are good things that can come out of it. There will always be ups and downs in life. Just because we are down, it does not mean we cannot learn from it, and be a stronger, wiser and nicer person thereon. Wishing everyone here the strength to face adversity and the wisdom to grow from it.

Enchanted

OK, after that gloomy reflection earlier, another thing is on my mind this month: Disney Enchanted.

I don't considered myself to be a romantic guy and I enjoyed piercing sarcasm and black humor more (think In Living Color) but somehow this movie caught something in me (well, Madagascar too, but that was coz of the 4 mafiaso Penguins). Enjoy the catchy soundtrack of this movie:

Like it? It's hard not to. This tune has been ringing in my mind for past few weeks. Know why? Personally I feel it's coz when you are always happy and positive, you shine on others like the bright sun on a cool windy beach. That's why Amy Adams jovial, bubbly, caring and thoughtful character is soooooooo addictive. She simply draws people to her like a magnet. That's how we should live our lives: to bring joy and happiness to people around us, and they in turn will bring joy and happiness back to us. Merry Christmas and happy holidays folks! :)

Soldiering on

Been busy busy last 2 months: new distributorship, new products, new models, PC Fair, 1U Fair, Courts Mutiara opening etc. Without realising it, all these took a heavy toll on my values and principles. I tried not to blame myself for my choice of profession and business but I guess this is what The Buddha meant when he asked us to pursue the Right Livelihood and Right Effort. Choosing the right profession and prioritizing our lives are so important to our happiness and well-being.

When workload piled up and things got screwed up, your patience will be running thin, and frustrations will set in. Then next thing you know, KABOOM! I lose my temper more often, was rude to people, yelled at people, even more subtle but recently noticeable: starting to lose my generosity and thoughtfulness. Though I realised it sometime back, I shove it aside once I started to work incessantly and today, I don't like who I saw in the mirror: a cold and temperamental workaholic. To make things worse, I took home my office demo rig, the one with an AMD Athlon64 X2 6000+ and Albatron 8800GT 512MB VGA. Put an ex-Gamer with a high powered Gaming PC and what you get: an addicted Gamer all over again! :P

Fortunately I'm still mindful of the suffering due to "wanting" - chasing goals so hard that one ignore all the goodness that one can offer to others. I intend to slow things down by going to the temple more often, spending time with my family, catching up with friends, and if need be, sacrifice some of my business objectives. Most of all, I hope to regain my "changed" self again.

Note to self: Guard my thoughts, watch my deeds. Soldier on...

Guan Yin and Wise Sayings of The Buddha

Took my family to the temple today, to pay homage to Guan Yin Pusa, also known as Avalokiteshvara in Sanskrit or Chenrezig according to Tibetan Buddhism. To me, Guan Yin is the embodiment of compassion and loving kindness.

As I kneeled down to pay homage to Guan Yin, I wanted to recite "Om Mani Padme Hung" 108 times but failed on my first attempt. There were simply too many distractions. So I got up, took the vegetarian lunch, and after a short break, went down on my knees again. This time, I reminded myself to be mindful of the present, not to let my mind stray, and just focus on chanting. After chanting about 20 times, my mind started to wonder and even tried to convince me to stop at 30 times. I then bring my thoughts to the parami (perfection) of "Adhitthana" or determination. Each time I recalled Adhitthana, I persevered on and on till I chanted 108 times. Now this might not seem like an arduous task to many but it is to me, since I have a restless mind centered on worldly affairs. But this episode made me realized the value of mindfulness and determination.

Came home and watched YouTube to relax. Ran a few searches on Guan Yin and found 2 very inspiring videos:

1. A mesmerizing dance representing Guan Yin with the following words of wisdom:

As long as you are kind and there is love in your heart
A thousand hands will naturally come to your aid
As long as you are kind and there is love in your heart
You will reach out with a thousand hands to help others

2. A video of a demure girl quoting the wise teachings of Siddhāttha Gotama; The Buddha. I've read some before but it's truly inspiring when I viewed and listened to them in this video. I guess the presenter in this video has a natural flair for delivering the wise sayings of The Buddha.

PS. Thank you Sarah Swofford for the absolutely beautiful recitations.

Free Burma, support the Saffron Revolution!

I followed the anti-government protests and cries for help in Burma (now Myanmar) with concern since mid September. I remembered reading an article that said since the monks have joined the protest, the oppressive military government (junta) in Burma are now caught between a rock and a hard place, mainly because it's unimaginable that the junta will use force on the peaceful monks in Burma.

That article struck two thoughts in me:

1. Why would Buddhist monks, who have renounced the secular world to lead a homeless life, take such an active part in politics?

2. What if the unthinkable happen: the military junta decides to use force on these monks?

Guess what? The unthinkable happened. The military junta in Burma finally used violent means to suppress the protest in yet AGAIN another brutal crackdown. Scores of people including monks were arrested, beaten, shot, brutalized and killed. The soldiers and policemen, acting on orders from the junta, stormed many temples and monasteries to detain monks and from the accounts of what I've read and viewed: tortured and killed many monks in horrifying ways.

For decades, the military junta have ruled Burma with an iron fist with total disregard for the welfare of the people. Poverty and famine is at an all time high and there are virtually no proper education or job opportunities with many brutal crackdowns on the intellectuals and students in Burma.

Burma, already one of the world's poorest nations, recently saw a ninefold increase in the price of oil and a 40% increase in the price of rice, which made the incompetent and power-hungry junta fearful of any popular uprising, hence even monks were not spared from the brutality as they struggle to cling on to power. Such clinging and lust for power are invariably destructive and the cause of untold sufferings.

Under such extreme conditions, it’s impossible for the people of Burma to practice the Dhamma, let alone maintain a calm and serene mind. Therefore, the monks out of deep compassion for all those suffering in Burma, decided to take part in a peaceful protest with the hope that the military junta would do something to alleviate the suffering and improve the welfare of all Burmese citizens. By doing so, the holy Sangha, as the protector of the noble Dhamma, now lies completely brutalized and shattered by the oppressive and inhuman regime in Burma.

If you happened to read this, please try to:

1. Say a prayer or send your good thoughts to people and monks in Burma who are suffering now.

2. See what you can do HERE.

I leave you to ponder over these two quotes:

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing – Edmund Burke.
(This happens to be my Karate grandmaster Vince Morris sensei's favorite quote)

There are times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest - Elie Wiesel.
(Let's take protest in this context to include active compassionate action: saying a prayer or good thoughts, sharing the news regarding Burma, donating to the people of Burma, appealing to the UN and your government to help the people of Burma and etc.)

Free Burma! Free Myanmar! Support the Saffron Revolution!

Organs donation

Been mulling over this since 2001. It was Susan who first shared with me the idea of donating organs upon death, having pledge her organs sometime ago. Discovering Buddhism led me to deeper thoughts of this matter.

The Star report on the successful second transplant for heart patient Tee Hui Yi is both touching and eye-opening. Touching because the parents of a young mechanic who died in an accident put aside their grief for what must be a shocking loss to consent to donating their son organs.

Eye-opening when I read more than 100,000 Malaysians have pledged their organs but in reality only 25 have donated their organs to save lives, mainly because many families or next of kin do not agree to the organ donation. Tee Hui Yi can be considered extremely lucky to have found 2 suitable donors within a span of just 24 hours after the body rejected the first transplant. I see it as her good kamma from her past merits ripening at the right time.

It took a team of more than 14 specialists and senior nurses from IJN (Institut Jantung Negara) two grueling days performing the two transplants on Hui Yi. So much effort just to save one person. This truly illustrates the dedication and commitment of doctors to save lives, and shows just how precious human life is. It's so easy to take away a life, but so difficult to save one. May we all learn to live peacefully without enmity and violence.

I'll try to spend more time to deeply consider donating my own organs. Read here for more info on organs donation. Susan, if you are reading this, thanks for sharing.

Things you can never undo

Here's an enjoyable and meaningful story sent to me by my ex-colleague and good friend, Santhana Mary.

May we all be blessed with wisdom in our thoughts, words and deeds, to act with skillful means in our lives.

Which one do you feed?

I once heard that inside all of us, there are two wolves constantly fighting: LOVE and HATE.

Do you know which one will win eventually? It's the one you feed the most.

So be mindful of your thoughts always. Wishing you peace and harmony.

Loving kindness - an everlasting beauty

When I look at thee

What beauty do I see

When I remember your deeds

What inspiration you truly give

When I'm drowned in grief

Your memories always give me a lift

When I'm lost in greed

It's your advice that I heed

You will always be my lead

Providing that which I need

Though it might not be what I seek

It's definitely a righteous seed

Your loving kindness is inspiring indeed

For your legacy will never ever cease...

Rats!

While my aunt was cooking supper for me, all of sudden she screamed. I ran to the kitchen and asked her what happened. She pointed to the stove and I saw a long tail under cooking stove, it's a rat!

Despite my best attempt to catch it using a plier, the rat escape. Don't ever underestimate the strength and speed of this animal. Later my aunt setup a trap using a rat cage with a bait inside. A short while later, it caught the rat!

While I recalled my grandma used to dispose any rats she caught by putting it under the hot sun, I assumed my aunt would do the same tomorrow morning. But I was wrong, she calmly told me to follow her outside the house to release the rat somewhere into the bushes. This is a pleasant and meaningful surprise for me, she's actually practicing the First Precept (refrain from killing) right in front of me. This episode taught me to respect all living beings no matter big or small, beautiful or ugly. The way my aunt handled it, the rat won't be pest in my house and yet no harm comes to it. Thanks aunt for this lesson in wisdom and compassion.

Massacre at Virginia Tech

Horrors beneath tranquility: who would believe this serene place can be the site for the most gruesome mass slayings in the history of USA?

What a shocking loss of human lives, the senseless massacre in Virginia Tech University serves another lesson on how fragile human lives can be, and although death is a certainty for all of us, we can never know when it'll happen.

But IMHO, the deepest tragedy in this very dark episode is how we continue to ignore or neglect those who are suffering from mental problems. To make matters worse: we laugh, tease or bully those whom we perceived to be "different" from us, adding to their misery and anguish. Have we become so perverse that we take pleasure from teasing or bullying people till they break down and become festered with delusions, anger and hatred. Who is more responsible here: a society that doesn't care or a loner who's delusional and cannot tell right from wrong? Could active pre-emptive action like compelling or coercing him into therapy radically change the outcome of this tragic episode? I think we owe this much to ourselves and those killed to at least think and reflect on this matter, for the betterment of our future generation and to preserve the sanity and sanctity of our existence as human beings in this world.

We can certainly do with more understanding, compassion and loving kindness in our world today, esp. to those suffering from mental problems and anguish. Perhaps this is best sum up in a letter to the killer, Cho Seung-hui on his memorial stone in Virginia Tech campus: "Seung Hui, I hope that if I ever meet someone like you, I will have the courage and strength to reach out." - signed David.


PS. To Err Is Human, To Forgive Is Divine. May we find peace through forgiveness.

First Aid and CPR course

Just attended a certified First Aid and CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) course in Hospital Pantai Indah. I would like to thank my fellow gym buddies (Vince & Albert) for encouraging me to sign up for this useful course.

Initially I was hesistant to sign up for this 2 full days course coz I imagined it to be a dry & boring course. Well, was I wrong! The first 10 mins already pique my interest when Fideal answered wrongly on what to do when you have a deep cut on your wrist or forearm - do you know torniquet (a tightly tied band applied around a body part, eg. an arm or a leg) has been banned as First Aid procedure sometime back? It's a dangerous technique so only hospitals used them in the surgeries nowadays. After hearing the many case studies presented, I can only conclude one thing: ignorance can kill! It's better not to do anything if you do not know First Aid. That's the strange thing about delusion and ignorance, people still think it's bliss!

All in all, we learned about First Aid treatments for wounds, bleeding, amputations, fractures, burns, shock and finally CPR. Definitely a useful course. I think many of us take our lives for granted (me included) and think that help can arrive on time whenever there are emergencies. Actually the first few mins in cases like choking, heart attack, severe bleeding, drowning are crucial in determining a victim's survival rate. My instructor said, "...bring to us 70% alive, then we can do something." Even ensuring that the victim's breathing airway is clear can make the difference between life and death - head tilt, chin lift.

Again it proved that I should never let my feelings ruled over my good instincts or common sense. I should always endevour to do good no matter how bored or tired I feel. Learning life saving skills such as First Aid and CPR might prove to be invaluable one day, echoing the common saying we used for learning martial arts: "better to know and not need it than need it but do not know."

Blood Diamond - watch what you buy

Watched another great movie that highlights the how greed and ignorance cause untold suffering to so many people. Blood Diamond, a movie by Edward Zwick, shows us how the people in Africa (eg. minerals-rich nations like Sierra Leone) are enslaved, tortured, maimed and killed in order to harvest diamonds primarily to cater to the demand of the "developed" countries. It's a vicious cycle: the government want to harvest diamonds to stay in power, while those against the government harvest diamonds to overthrow them. Both need money, both need arms: diamond=money=arms=power. Ignorance perpetuate greed perpetuate hate and this never ends. It sank so low that sometimes people even forgot why or what they are fighting for? For the common citizens, killing is simply a way of life there: T.I.A (this is Africa - shit happens).

Being forced to work in diamond mines under inhuman conditions.

But there are people who refused to believe that there's nothing we can do about it. Characters in the movie like Maddy Bowen, who believed that every single step she takes, no matter how small, how insignificant, can somehow makes a different. Who refused to live in denial or cynicism or look the other way. There are people like that in the real world. And these people gives us hope for a more caring world, and alerts us that they are many out there who are suffering greatly. Same for the people who work tirelessly to bring relief effort to conflict zones and war refugees or victims like the workers and volunteers of UNHCR, ICRC, Doctors Without Borders and many more.

In a way, I'm glad that there are more and more movies coming out highlighting the plights and sufferings of those living in Africa: Sometimes in April, Tears of the Sun and Lord of War are recent films that do more than just entertain. As said by Barbara Vancheri of Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: "The movie does not suggest consumers boycott diamonds, just that they be vigilant in asking about their origin."

In order to reduce mental defilements, I've tried to be selective about the kind of movies I watch nowadays. Though some of these movies are classified as "R" or "PG", and often depict violence, I think overall they still manage to send a good message: ignorance, greed and hatred cause much sufferings to many. We need to be wary of how materialism and consumerism is driving our lives and how it affects those around us and everyone all over the world. Hope we all become more mindful of what we buy in the future, and why we need to buy them. Always ask about the origins of the diamonds you want to buy to avoid buying conflict diamonds.

Goodness is infectious

I felt sad for the victims of the flood in Malaysia, esp. those in Johor. Imagined all these people losing so much in such a short time: their properties, vehicles, home appliances, fittings, furnitures, beds, crops, livestocks - all destroyed by the flood water. Do you know how hard a typical person would need to save to refit his home? Not only that, most families were displaced and have to live in crowded "relief" centers, usually school halls converted into makeshift camps. I wondered what relief these places can bring? Most tragic of all, humans and animals lives were lost in the floods. Some people took unneccessary risks by driving through flooded roads and others were simply swept away by the heavy current. So much losses in so short a time.

I write not to gripe but to highlight how we all take our daily lives for granted, and how tragedy can strike anytime anywhere. I tried to imagine if I too lost everything in a flood, and it was really depressing just to think about it. When I heard that the Red Crescent was seeking donations in any kind, I asked my whole family to gather as much clothings as we can give away. At that point, I felt it would not be much, so I wondered if I can seek the help of my friends at the gym.

I called Vince, my coach to ask if I can use his gym as a staging area to gather clothes from all the members. He said YES and he posted a message on the notice board in the gym. I proceeded to post on our forum and sms everyone. The response I got was amazing! First day, a few packs came in and by the fourth or fifth day, I must have collected about 20 packs of clothings, including some children clothing too, all nicely packed and labelled according to the gender.

It was very thoughtful of the Red Crescent to open their place 24 hours so that I can drop in anytime. I'm so touched that so many people chipped in whatever they can. When I reached the Red Crescent office, there are many foodstuffs in boxes around, but few packs of clothings. I hope that what little we gave would be helpful to those affected by the flood. I really salute all those volunteers who took time off to help the flood victims because without them, the losses (including human lives) would be much more tragic. Thank goodness the media highlighted the victims plight so that many can chip in and pour their resources to help. Goodness is indeed infectious if you start the ball rolling. Go ahead, spread some goodness around...

Why Buddhism?

I discovered Buddhism after the untimely passing of Hua Li. To me, the Dhamma is truly beautiful and stood tall as the ultimate truth. I've found peace, harmony, joy and happiness from practicing Buddhism.

The more I learned, discovered and practiced, the more I'm convinced of The Buddha's teachings (the Dhamma) - truly in the spirit of "Ehi Passiko" - come see for yourselves. It's not pressurizing nor something that instill anxiety or fear (believe or go to hell). It's teachings will appeal to your common sense and reasonings - eg. we do not need God or anyone to tell us that murder is wrong. The more we practice it, the more we will gain confidence of efficacy of the Dhamma. It exhort us to look within: avoid evil, do good, purify the mind.

The teachings of impermanence, dukkha, no-self, conditioned existence, kamma and rebirth are very real indeed, supported by scientific backings & researched data. More importantly, you will experience them personally as you practice Buddhism.

Practicing Buddhism will lead us to happiness now, happiness hereafter and finally: complete and total liberation from suffering.

Wishing everyone success in following the path till fruition. HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS.

With Metta,
Charles /\

Donating blood

Donated blood recently in Pusat Darah Negara. I've been donating blood regularly since the last 3 years, thanks to the encouragement of my friend Susan. So Susan, if you are reading this - mucho gracias for encouraging me to do this good deed often.

In my previous times, I went with the a big group so although I had to wait for awhile, it was a jovial affair. This is the first time I went alone and it gave me opportunity to notice few things:

1. Most of the blood donor were Malays.
2. Most of them were in their thirties and above.
3. There was a good mix of male and female donors.
4. Most of the donors looked like they are from the lower income group.

Now I know it's bad of me to make conclusion based on a single observation but it sets me thinking: why aren't there many Chinese donors, why aren't there any young donors, why are the donors mainly from the lower income group?

Pusat Darah Negara provides a clean environment with comfortable chairs and TVs for blood donors to relax.

This trip was really an eye-opener to me on various levels. It taught me to discard my prejudice (& discrimination) against Islam being an "uncaring" religion. Thinking back, I realised that most nurses are Malay too, regardless of whether it's a private or public hospital. I dislike drawing conclusion along racial or religious lines but I think there is something good, noble and admirable about the Malays in our country and the way they live their lives: they care enough to serve, and contribute whatever ways they can. Look at how they work & cook together during kenduri and you'll understand what closeness is.

What about the Chinese here? I think most of us are too busy chasing wealth for ourselves and our families to notice that there are others out there who desperately need our help. This phenomena is probably not attributed to race or religions but it shows the downside of materialism. While the poor may have not much to give, their contributions such as donating blood and organs often make the difference between life and death. I guess sometimes we need to slow down our engine to see that we can make a difference if we want to, if we choose to. For the uninitiated, donating blood is a painless and fast process. You may also choose to donate blood products such as plasma and platelets through the Apheresis machines. Our local Pusat Darah Negara provides a very cosy and comfortable ambience for you to donate blood, with nice snacks and vitamins for donors. Try it, do something meaningful today.

Sickness is unpredictable

My mum & dad with Angelina, my little princess.

My two and a half years old daughter, Angelina Wong Zhi Yan vomited non-stop last Sunday nite. My whole family got so worried about her condition. Despite vomiting many times, she did not cried much. She is a strong girl, like her late mother. We took her to the clinic and Maxalon was administered through her rectum to prevent it from being vomited out. After few hours, the vomiting persist so we have to admit her to Pantai hospital around 4am. By then, my dad was down with constant diarrhoea but he came with us, being the super-grandfather that he is.

Angelina was brought to the ward around 6am for saline infusion to replace the loss fluids and keep the body hydrated. Angelina did not cried when they poke the IV neddle into her hands, she merely said "no more, no more...", she never cease to amaze me. By 6am, my mum started to have diarrhoea and fever too! We were fortunate the bed next to our two-bed room was empty. My mum and dad later took turns to rest on the empty bed, being exhausted from diarrhoea. The fact that my parents insisted on keeping watch on Angelina despite their tiredness and sickness, really showed me how deep my parents loved their grandaughter, and how much sacrifice our parents can make for us, which most of us took for granted.

Despite her exhaustion from the constant vomiting, she asked to go home. There is no place like home.

The Pediatrician later diagnosed my daughter as suffering from Gastroenteritis, a very serious infection of the gut. And my whole family must have caught it too, from sharing food and taking care of her. She was discharged after one day, but only got well few days later. Taking a supplement of good bacteria such as Probiotic to augment the gut proved to be helpful. My mum was the last to get well (after more than 7 days), due to her immuno-compromised condition as a cancer patient. Yet she still managed to soothe my daughter to sleep every nite during bedtime. Family love truly knows no bound and we must always treat our loved ones with appreciation, respect and care; more so since sickness and death are unpredictable.