Soldiering on

Been busy busy last 2 months: new distributorship, new products, new models, PC Fair, 1U Fair, Courts Mutiara opening etc. Without realising it, all these took a heavy toll on my values and principles. I tried not to blame myself for my choice of profession and business but I guess this is what The Buddha meant when he asked us to pursue the Right Livelihood and Right Effort. Choosing the right profession and prioritizing our lives are so important to our happiness and well-being.

When workload piled up and things got screwed up, your patience will be running thin, and frustrations will set in. Then next thing you know, KABOOM! I lose my temper more often, was rude to people, yelled at people, even more subtle but recently noticeable: starting to lose my generosity and thoughtfulness. Though I realised it sometime back, I shove it aside once I started to work incessantly and today, I don't like who I saw in the mirror: a cold and temperamental workaholic. To make things worse, I took home my office demo rig, the one with an AMD Athlon64 X2 6000+ and Albatron 8800GT 512MB VGA. Put an ex-Gamer with a high powered Gaming PC and what you get: an addicted Gamer all over again! :P

Fortunately I'm still mindful of the suffering due to "wanting" - chasing goals so hard that one ignore all the goodness that one can offer to others. I intend to slow things down by going to the temple more often, spending time with my family, catching up with friends, and if need be, sacrifice some of my business objectives. Most of all, I hope to regain my "changed" self again.

Note to self: Guard my thoughts, watch my deeds. Soldier on...